im not a doll, im a woman
uncovering our inner patriarchy/misogynist and a practice to let it die.
Ive been discovering yet another layer of my being. My inner patriarchy/misogynist. Although there’s a lot of sticky parts it’s been a delight uncovering this part of me, because quite frankly i’m fucking tired of it, its old and ready to die (lol) and transform to something else.
And I know this layer lives inside not only me but so many women. Here’s some examples how it lives and speaks trough me:
Believing its better to stay silent and obedient than to open my mouth and express my inner world, especially when I feel something burning in my throat or my boundary is being overridden.
Believing of being boring when I don’t feel like participating in a sexual practice.
Believing that I always need to have that external validation and only when yearned and wanted from men I feel worthy.
Believing is only through my body I gain worth, how it looks how, what size my breast are, what sizes my butt is.
We need to start taking accountability and observing how this sticky patterns not only lives in out in our system but also is an internalized system that we birth everyday. And also recognize that not only you but generations of woman before you have adopted this internal patriarchy/misogynist is to keep you safe. In some parts of the world its still not safe for woman to not operate through this internal system, so its our responsibility as woman who are safe to radically let this part of us die. When you do it, you don’t only do it for yourself you do it for all women, you do it for our earth, you do it for every generation that has been before you and is yet to come.
Im not saying this part of us is going to go down without a fight, it will fight, it will try to deceive you, but the most important thing to remember is that you are held, even if you don’t feel held by yourself (witch is normal, it takes time)you are held by our mother. Go out and feel nature, sit under a tree, feel that you are held, right now by reading this. Feel your body be held by whatever surface you are on. You are held, always.
With this said i’m going to gift you this ritual that just birthed through me. If you feel called to do it I would love to hear what it awoke in you, and I highly suggest for you to always follow your inner knowing and body in every part. ( I also recommend really creating a time sloth so you feel safe to really deepen into this practice)
Create an environment or be in a room were you feel safe, maybe put on music or light an incense, do whatever you need to do to create this space. I know for me music can really deepen my practices.
When you are done you will need pen and paper. You are going to write a letter to your inner system, you can also write to someone that represents and reflects this in your current reality, or from your past. You can alter between them. Write without any filter, no one need to see this letter, its just for you, write everything, welcome anythings that needs to come up, write (especially) everything you are to afraid to speak on. When you feel complete I invite you to write a homage to your body and thank them for keeping you safe by adapting to the system.
When you feel done with the letter you put it in the center of the room, now is time to give space to the body to express, and integrate. Breathe and move in whatever motion your body needs, it knows what you need, trust. Cry, scream, punch the air, punch a pillow do whatever you need to do, or maybe you just need to dance to celebrate the inviting death of this system. Let the emotions move through you. I ended this part of the practice by just laying on the floor singing and holding myself. When I felt done I safely burned the letter and put the ashes in the soil of one of my plants. But be creative with this part. Mold this practice for yourself, just be sure you close the practice when complete!
I love you.
Älskar! 🥰❤️